The Stennch Histories of Bellingham, Volume III, Part 6, in which a
certain body is exhumed for no practical reason whatsoever and then
begins an eternal torment and taunting of the fair residents of our
fair city.
----

Unearthed, then, not 20 years after this point, he (if it can truly be
called a he at that point, appendages notwithstanding) embodied the
most dank of tastes, were one to.  This refusal to abdicate the throne
of odor itself proved a major reason for his reentombment, much to his
chagrin and those in Bellingham who had labored for his upheaval.

"Social upheaval," they claimed stodgily in what the historian may
rightly call bloody fascist propaganda, "is key to a reinstatement of
the morality on which blah blah blah."  Far be it from me to comment
most wholeheartedly on their magnum opus, but the resultant upheaval
(described above) was hardly revolutionary and the exhumed was rather
less than social at the time.

Still, all this seems to have puzzled Mr. -- sorry, Dr. -- Walker, in
his decrepit way, and as one would have it, he commenced at this point
(hardly past noon on 21 March) with his antique antics, if I may be so
bold.

The first victim was Ira Noble, who upon seeing Mr. -- Dr. -- Walker
in his rather recently unknown state so suited to his name, went on
bashing her ugly little cabeza in with a bloody frying pan.  All to
little avail, for the awakened Walker was by all means a material
presence which refused to surrender to such a lowbrow form of
banishment.  Mrs. Noble, admitted to surgery when her husband, Frank,
returned later in the afternoon, died a week later and was, of her own
will and against her religion, cremated.

The story would have died then as the product of a boozing old wife
(though reputedly good in bed) had it not been for the most tragic of
the cases, which I almost hesitate to describe in detail, as much as
the sappy tale of the coxswain touches a bloody heartstring in this
somber part of the world.  But Margareet, Margareet -- I never knew
her but I know her well.

The darling of Sasquatch High, Margareet Margretetet was coxswain for
the crew team on a very unfortunate day when Mr. Walker, sorry,
Dr. Walker, was, so to speak, "on the haunt."  The team that day had
the ill luck to be paddling past the cemetery and Dr. Walker, who was
out for a bit of a swim (what one might call a "skinny" dip, if some
athletes are to be trusted) and decided to drag the poor girl in,
casting back a severed head.

Now some serious historians unlike myself have commented that perhaps
this was, instead of an encounter with the supernatural on the fair
River Bellingham, a deliberate ruse to explain a rather untidy and
coital event which had occurred that morning.  However, there is no
correlation whatsoever for this observation, and most of all, what
about the bloody head?