Bjordan Gofast is the lead vocalist. He occasionally diddles on his guitar and gets overexcited about doing surf riffs. He draws all the pictures and writes some of the songs, like the ones about actually having a girlfriend. He drives a beat up little car and wears zeitgeist antennae.

Wes Slappy plays with himself. When not slaving for the corporation (most of the time) or doing tantric yoga (never), he plays rhythm guitar and every once in a while remembers to sing backup vocals. He writes a lot of songs, most of which start in the key of D and are so cheesy he doesn't even bother showing them to the group. Unfortunately, some of them squeak by the rigorous self-censorship process that is The Happybomb Rehearsal. The other song is in C. Wes wants to be anarchy.

The Chick plays a large whitish bass guitar with an amp that has no wheels. She does not like the Beastie Boys and none of her bass lines sound anything like theirs. So don't even think about it, punk. She does not like your hat.

Morgan Happy is the drummer! Morgan, prone to spasmodic fits, seizes his sticks and pounds out the driving punch line to Happybomb's two-minute epics of boredom and despair. Morgan claims to not really be a drummer, just like I claim to not really split my infinitives, but reputed figures in the "scene" (hereafter referred to as the "happening", the "chutz", and the "jibe" depending on your mood and how often Morgan and I have been to Taco Bell this week) know better. Morgan sings "Wart Hog" and things happen.

Ryan Happy played drums. Ryan has since quit Happybomb and is rumored to be wandering the streets of South Central Los Angeles listlessly, shouting something about the Go-Gos and lost youth. He was the only one who really knew how to play.