Voodoo now barely maintains a toehold in America, and is quickly receding to its Haitian origins. One may occasionally find the token doll in the five and dime, officiously labeled "Not a Toy," with clearly marked spots for happy and sad things. Guess where the one for infertility is -- on second thought, let's move on.
No, the problem with voodoo is that it lacks a clear marketing direction. Voodoo needs to get back in the trenches in the great consumer world and branch out. It's not going to just be voodoo "dolls" anymore -- we're talking voodoo warriors, Voodoo Mutant Ninja Turtles and Voodoo Morphin Power Rangers for the young crowd. For the older, more earnest section of the populace, voodoo politicians, voodoo taxmen, voodoo sports commentators, and so on.
All these are just part of the process of relaunching voodoo into the public eye. Because let's face it, voodoo has an image problem. With merchandising, voodoo, like those insidious Pogs, could become an American Way of Life (tm). Industry-minded Americans will bring voodoo where before voodoo dared not tread.
For instance, just the other day I saw a mud puddle shaped exactly like Europe, right down to the islands in the Adriatic, and I had the understandable urge to grind my heel into former Yugoslavia, thereby alleviating a rather large percentage of human suffering. Better yet, with voodoo, a mud puddle shaped like Africa and a remarkably loose grip on reality, I may have been able to make it rain the Sahara. No promises. But once voodoo takes off, this stuff might be as easy as a poke in the eye.
If America is good to voodoo, then voodoo will be good to America. Pin production will skyrocket, for one, putting the mining industry back to work, which every good economist knows will favorably affect the price of wheat.
And that's not all. Voodoo is minority. Voodoo is multicultural. Voodoo is not afraid to tackle the fears of middle class Americans. Voodoo is hip. Voodoo has four Os. Voodoo's not just cool, it's Creole.
So stick with the voodoo that you do so well. Voodoo's going to stick with you.
"American Way of Life" is a trademark of the Ford Motor Company, fine makers of voodoo cars since 1905.